Breakthrough Parenting Online

I really want to congratulate and encourage all of you who have left comments on the site. You’ve taken to the nature of this site very quickly.

The idea here is to initiate a community and allow for conversation. I’ve been amazed at the quality of conversation that has begun.

One of our readers, Jane Meade, in Marina Del Rey, had a great response that I’ve pared down just a little to share with you:

BRAVO!!!!!!

I’m so glad to know that this is what you’ve been up to! May I forward this? Is there a “Send to a Friend” button on the site somewhere? Congratulations! I’m very happy to support this endeavor through referrals and that old stand-by…”Word of Mouth”.

Will E-Books, etc. be part of Dr. Jayne’s future? Again…so glad to hear what you’ve been doing and congratulations and best wishes for the June Launch!

Bright Blessings!
Jane

So, to answer Jane’s questions:

1. Is there a “Send to a Friend” button on the site somewhere?

I know a lot of you have been looking for ways to share what we are up to with friends, family, co-workers, people in your spiritual community. There is a “Tell A Friend” button at the bottom of each post, and on the right hand side. So, please use that to introduce people to the site.

2. Will E-Books etc. be part of Dr. Jayne’s future?

Here’s what I can tell you about the future of Breakthrough Parenting.

Two weeks ago we announced a new groundbreaking site and technology that we are calling Breakthrough Parenting Online. We invited a small number of test users to have a crack at the curriculum and here is what we noticed

Graduates of Breakthrough Parenting had no trouble using the new system.

People who’ve never heard of Breakthrough Parenting before ended up with more questions at the end than when they started

And so, we’re going to slow down a bit and share all of the coursework over the Internet.

We’ve had a lot of requests to bring the book and course work for Breakthrough Parenting online. In fact, we’ve had so much interest in it that we’re going to roll out an online version of the course before we unveil the In Action! program we’re so excited about.

That’s right!

An online version of Breakthrough Parenting. Finally!

Additionally, people have been asking about a recorded version of the book. I’ll finally be introducing a recorded version of the book. Imagine what it would be like to listen to these tools and tips in the car. Or to listen on your headphones while you take a stroll. For years people have been asking and it will be here soon.

Alongside all of this we’ll be opening a community site where parents, kids and Breakthrough Parenting instructors can mix, mingle and mentor one another along this path of parenting.

On that note - And this is IMPORTANT - We’re going to be announcing a Tele-Conference for all Certified Breakthrough Parenting Instructors to learn how they can help more families and grow their business.

One of our readers asked, ” Jayne, Do you have an affiliate program for your upcoming program and products? If you do I would like to participate..!” The answer is yes! And we’ll be announcing all the details on the Tele-Conference for Certified Breakthrough Parenting Instructors in the next two or three weeks. If you are certain that you’d like to participate in this program, shoot us a quick note with “Affiliate” in the headline and we’ll do our best to coordinate with you.

Here’s another person who is using this website perfectly. I got this question from a reader who was a student years ago. I get this kind of question all the time, so hopefully sharing the response with you all helps.

Once you read it, I recommend leaving a question of your own, or a story of your own in the Comments section below. This is about all of us having a place and a voice. Let’s hear from you.

My friend Loren and his wife Kathy were having challenges agreeing on what to do about their 16 year-old-daughter, Susan.

“What happened is that Kathy and I went to New York for a wedding and stayed a week. Our friend, Evelyn, agreed to stay over while we were gone. We were VERY clear with Susan about making good choices, which she usually does.”

However, one night she waited for Evelyn to go to sleep and then had some friends over. There was drinking (maybe some pot) and a neighbor called the police when he saw kids leaving the house late at night.

“Kathy and I cannot find a common ground over what to do about this. Kathy has a long story about what bad parents we have been and that we should really crack down on Susan. For me, it is about the damage that has happened in my relationship with my daughter; I don’t trust her any more.”

-Loren

As you can see, both parents had their hands full with their own issues and both wanted most to know, “How to come to an agreement?”

To begin with, everyone needs to let the drama simmer down so that logic can prevail. Once the heightened emotion has cooled off, I suggest that you and Kathy have a heart-to-heart talk with Susan to find out exactly what happened. You both need to receptively listen without resorting to lecturing or criticizing.

If Susan is afraid of the two of you she is unlikely to tell the whole truth or to accept personal responsibility for the choices that she made. After you find out who was there, what they did and for how long — in other words more accurate information– then what to do will be clearer. Breakthrough Parents know how to listen and make it safe for children to tell the truth.

You said Susan usually makes good choices. Supposing that Susan is generally cooperative and follows the rules and in this case has made a mistake, bringing out the big guns of cracking down and losing trust is overreaction. What is your goal?

A Breakthrough Parent desires a win/win outcome; this includes agreeing on rules and preserving everyone’s self-esteem. The rule of thumb for consequences is that there is a logical relationship to what the offense was and the result. I suggest that you approach Susan with a statement sentence (questions invite power struggles) such as, “Susan, we would like to know what you think we should do to make sure that we can be confident that you will not sneak friends over to drink alcohol (or smoke pot).”

Then listen. She is likely to have something wise to say if you do it right. She is the one who needs to solve her problem of making good choices as only she is in control of her thinking and behavior, not you — right?

Teenagers need to individuate which means they need to become their own person and to decide for themselves what is responsible or not. Teens are supposed to rebel, test the limits and experiment with being different in order to grow up. Susan’s behavior seems like normal teenager behavior.

Furthermore, it is rare that parents approach parenting in exactly the same way and generally it isn’t necessary to do so. Sometimes the best that you can do after everyone has expressed their opinion is to agree to disagree. After that, things miraculously seem to work out.

Dr. Jayne

PS. Hopefully you see how valuable this space can be. Share your parenting questions in the Comments section below. Share your ideas about what you’d like to have in an Online Parenting Community. Just express yourself! I’m here to help families learn tools and techniques to achieve peace in the home! By moving families from struggle to cooperation we aim to create a world that works for everyone.

PPS. I just love people’s energy and before I let you go, I want to share this short message with you:

Jayne,
This site looks fabulous! Wow! I am so impressed with what you are doing! I look forward to June to see it in full swing–and count me in!
Mollie

Tags: FAQ, Launch Announcements, Parenting Styles

This entry was posted on Thursday, May 8th, 2008 at 1:41 pm and is filed under Parenting Tips. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.